Wednesday, 11 May 2016

The Fear of Relapse

I've been told from the start of my treatment that the chance of relapse is quite low, which obviously is great. However, the chance of me developing cancer in the first place was quite low, which suddenly makes anything, no matter how unlikely, seem extremely possible.
I've reached a place in my head where I've realised that even if I worry or not, if the cancer is going to come back in 2, 5, 10 or 20 years time; me worrying about it will not make a jot of difference.
I've also decided that I need to stop being frustrated about the time I've lost. At the end of the day, my life so far hasn't gone the way I wanted it to. But neither has most other people's, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life complaining about something that can't be changed and just accept what has happened and move on. I'm lucky I'm still here; I should be grateful for that rather than annoyed about how it has affected my life.

3 comments:

  1. Wise Words Tash. You cannot turn the clock back, but today is the first day of the rest of your life as the saying goes. As far as progress is concerned, lots of people take a gap year exploring Europe or travelling somewhere. You had an unplanned, and at times very unpleasant 'gap year', but you came through it much richer for the experience. Of course nobody would choose to have such thing happen to them, but you faced it with courage, determination and a positive attitude that inspired everyone who followed your progress. You are quite right to put thoughts of a relapse behind you. The probability is low, but none of us can be sure what is round the corner, luckily, or we would all have miserable lives worrying what might happen next. Go for your dreams Tash, you can achieve so much when you believe in yourself.

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  2. When I was done with treatmentfor Hodgkins, I was in my teens just like you, and feared the thought of relapse but you can't live life like that, which you pretty much have figured out. This chapter in life has made you stronger than you'll ever know and you have the gift of knowing just how precious life is, which is something a lot of people take for granted these days. Like you said "go for your dreams"" and don't let anything hold you back!

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